Basketball On The Internet.

IT used to trouble me in those early days of the TV Week Logies when there seemed to be some need to feature a random Hollywood star, as if that legitimised the awards. Now the NBL is doing it again. I mean, truly, why does the January HoopsFest in Perth require the appearance of DeMarcus Cousins?

Last year Allen Iverson's presence was a near-enough disaster but yep, let's trot out another NBA anybody.

It was like seeing Michael Cole from the TV series Mod Squad attending the Logies way back when. The only question anyone asked then was: Why?

Do we as a nation still suffer from some sort of inferiority complex that we need a random NBAer to make us feel warm and fuzzy?

A colleague I mentioned this too replied with: "Imagine if you were a 12-year-old at HoopsFest and you could meet DeMarcus."

OK. I get that point and it's a fair one. Truth be told though, if I was a 12-year-old, I probably wouldn't even know who he is.

The NBL struck gold with Scottie Pippen but it already had Luc Longley as counsel to let it know he would be worth the trip.

Frankly, I'd rather see and hear from a James Crawford, Robert Rose, Darnell Mee, Kirk Penney, Steve Woodberry or Scott Fisher making the rounds at an NBL event.

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It's tragic isn't it when the best and most listenable new commentator on the NBL scene only regularly does games out of Launceston. But thank heavens we are provided temporary relief whenever Audio Difficulties interrupts the usual banal banter.

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What was up with the Kings in Perth? First Harry Wessels flattens teammate Kendric Davis - no, he hadn't taken a phone call and some advice from Montrezl Harrell - then someone's water bottle "goes off" in a time-out for a different kind of huddle spray!

That's Wessels stumbling into Kendric, then Davis lying around hoping for the benefit of a call for his flop before realising he was knocked down by friendly fire. 

Oh, and now it can be revealed, that the "someone" who sprayed coach Brian Goorjian in a late time-out huddle against Perth was, in fact, little KD. We suspect it was merely an "Oops" moment.

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It keeps happening and we keep pointing it out. The decals (on-court advertising signage) are dangerous. Cole Anthony slipped on one going for a game-winning play against Illawarra some weeks ago, then Dylan Windler took a spill trying to drive the ball forward for Perth against Sydney.

The Wildcats had a little momentum at the time but the turnover and easy Kings bucket didn't help one iota. Luke Paul hit the skids for Cairns.

Hell, we've nearly reached the point where a TV commentator will almost say something! Congrats to the few news outlets who are daring to defy the decal delineation.

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Not only did Courtney Woods smoke Bendigo on Tuesday with 27 points at 73 per cent (5-of-7 threes tucked in there), 6 rebounds, 7 assists and 2 steals, Townsville's WNBL championship MVP also cracked 1,500 career points in that contest. Congratulations CW.

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First there was the original "little master" Cal Bruton leading all scorers by averaging 33.2 points per game at Brisbane Bullets in the NBL's inagural 1979 season. (Yes, 40 minute games back then and no 3-point line).

He played on championship teams, coached a championship and after naturalising, played for Australia's Boomers. Then came his son CJ Bruton, bursting onto the scene in 1994, also suiting up for the Bullets (and a few others) and en route to a record-typing six NBL championships and a role with the Australian Boomers.

Yes, the NBL has enjoyed several other father-son stories but the Brutons took it to the next level this week when CJ's son Rio hit the hardwood for Brisbane against Cairns. That's him scoring his first NBL points (below) and, with any luck, even a career half or a quarter as good as his father or grandpappy would be one most everyone else would be happy to have on their resume.

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Wow, our television commentators are pretty free-flowing with their accolades for their calling partners these days. Felix Von Hofe introduced Damon Lowery as an "NBL legend" ahead of their deconstruction of the New Zealand-Adelaide match.

NBL legend? You mean like a Leroy Loggins? Maybe Rocky Smith? Perhaps James Crawford? 

Now let's be honest here. Damon is famous for one thing in the NBL and one thing alone and that is for managing to knock down three free throws for Illawarra (then Wollongong) to clinch a deciding semi final series against Adelaide in 2001. That's it.

Now you could be remembered for many worse things than that. In fact, Damon can dine out on those three freebies, en route to the Hawks winning their first championship, forever. But it hardly qualifies him for any sort of "legend" status, except maybe at WIN Entertainment Centre.

On the WNBL commentary team we now have "WNBL Expert" Lou Brown. The only Louise Brown I can recall was a benchie for Bulleen (maybe Melbourne) Boomers so I hit Google for further information about this new "expert". This is what the link gave me:

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Please wait Derek Rucker before you go out too soon on something you just saw.

The Ruckus was quick to criticise Melbourne United on his TV call for having the much shorter Cole Anthony defending Cairns' Jack McVeigh early in the game, pointing out the height disparity.

Actually, Anthony was defending  Jaylon Brown, then switched onto McVeigh as the result of a pick-n-roll. By the very next play, Anthony was back on Brown.

Maybe the Ruckus should see something happen at least twice before calling out the huge error.

Speaking of which, ref Hugh Starkey calling a travel on Jonah Bolden in the first quarter was the type of random decision that drives coaches insane. If Bolden travelled, there were 280 other travels Starkey could and should have called. Guess his pee was getting dry.

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Congratulations yet again to the WNBL by condoning the second TV colour clash in two rounds.

It really must be akin to rocket science. Can one of the teams please wear an alternate strip next time?

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Do you want to know the difference between watching the NBL on colour television or on a black-and-white throwback set?

OK, this is colour TV below:

Looks pretty nifty, dosn't it?

OK, so here's what black-and-white TV used to resemble:

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There's hardly a soul I talk with who isn't fed up with the amount of constant drivel the officials put up with from players in both the NBL and WNBL.

It's pathetic and tiresome. Why the refs don't follow Chris Reid's example of blowing a tech early, as he did on United's Cole Anthony, baffles and infuriates. Every call just about has to be explained and often in triplicate.

I'm not saying the officiating standard isn't crap and the worst I've witnessed since that first 1979 tip-off between Glenelg Tigers and Bankstown Bruins. But how can the constant whining, bitching, gesticulating, whingeing, complaining help? It's not a good look for our sport.

Anthony is now even choosing to mouth off at TV personnel and good work to Jack Heverin (below) to simply wave him away.

In the Townsville-Perth WNBL game, Alicia "Floppy" Froling made a nice reverse shot and was fouled in the process, the whistle instantly blown. But no, she still had to have a whine despite the call going her way! I mean, what the hell more did she want?

Perth's Hayley Peters was so miffed with what she perceived as an over-wrought Alex Fowler flop, she threw herself on the floor in similar fashion, wearing a tech for it. 

Considering the home side Townsville was gifted 26 free throw attempts to Perth's 10, it's not hard to argue Peters had a case for her aggravation.

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Could there be a better way than seizing your first opportunity and driving to the hoop for your historic first NBL basket?

United's Christian D'Angelo reckons there is. So after scoring that initial lay-up, CDA finished the game with five points after letting this one fly from halfway to beat the final buzzer.

That's called getting the most out of 1:14 of court-time!

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Not sure how Tasmania keeps doing it but it does.

The secret identity of the masked avenger named Zorro used to be Don Diego Delavega.

We now know that in this century, Zorro's alter ego is Dakota Mathias.

The JackJumpers' American shooter managed to stay healthy through NBL Round 7 and left his indelible mark on a narrow home loss to Sydney before riding high at Melbourne's John Cain Arena.

There the high-flying Phoenix were grounded as he did his work, aided and abetted by the rest of the Ants' starting five, with assistance from two men known only as Stoddard and Stattmann.

Who was that masked man?

Well I can tell you this, it wasn't a Lone Ranger!