Basketball On The Internet.

IF Channel ONE-Ten doesn’t understand what “points in the paint” means, why does the network insist on putting the stat up in its “player spotlight” segment during match coverage?

It had New Zealand’s Thomas Abercrombie for ZERO points in the paint in his 16-point first-half haul against Melbourne on Sunday, then showed him throwing down a two-hand slam-dunk during his highlights package.

Where did he dunk that from if he wasn’t in the paint?

Did he drop from the roof?

Fast-forward (an excellent function on any ONE-Ten match coverage) to the Mark Worthington player spotlight and there it is again – ZERO points in the paint.

Wortho highlights? Well look at that. The old fella is throwing down a dunk.

Um, guys? Maybe he threw that down IN THE PAINT?

In the words of Mel Brooks: “Oy vey.”

Oh and just as an after-thought, could all those commentators of NBL basketball (and WNBL, Narelle) please note that sayings such as “stops on a dime” or “read it like a cheap novel” (which still is an improvement on “read it like a dime-store novel”) aren’t actually original or especially witty after being used for eons now.

We don’t have “dimes” but we do have originality.

Try it sometime.

I did like “wore him like a cheap suit” when Darryl Pearce said it in commentary, sometime in the last century, because that was Ice being Ice.

“Hearts like barking pumpkins,” is Bruce Palmer at his best.

Gold.

Give us something like that.

And no more “points in the paint” if you don’t have a clue what it even means.

 

THE Batgirl was back to her best with a season-high 35 points and 19 boards in one of Townsville’s two games against the Thunder in Logan for a weekend return of 26ppg and 14.5 rebounds and the WNBL’s Player of the Week award.

“Why don’t you call me anyone? Don’t you love me anymore?” the dual-WNBL MVP at Adelaide and now Fire-starter said the last time we spoke.

Now I’m just afraid to ring.

 

RELIABLY informed Adrian Preposterous, er, Adrian Proszenko, the "chief rugby league writer" for Fairfax Media, who recently magnanimously dubbed Kings' import Sam Young as "the best basketballer to step foot on to an Australian court" agrees with the ABC’s Darren Boyd that Phil Brown is one of the greatest coaches in Australian history.

Brown’s work at Gallipoli was second-to-none.

 

NBL Rankings

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8 (4) BREAKERS – Took two welts on the road despite playing well but would move with a big scalp such as Perth’s.

7 (8) TAIPANS – It was a good win over Adelaide, no question. But this weekend is the bigger test.

6 (7) HAWKS – Pulled off a fine home upset and a second this round over the Kings would be huge.

5 (6) TIGERS – Like Cairns, need to build on last round’s win this week to convince the tide has turned.

4 (3) KINGS – Surely they suspected a Hawks’ ambush? Must make amends this round.

3 (5) CROCS – Have been rolling since their awful road loss in Sydney but this double is season-defining.

2 (2) 36ERS – Maybe got a little cocky but how they bounce back this round will be telling.

1 (1) WILDCATS – Still getting it done but only just the last couple of times. About ready to drop a game.

 

WNBL Rankings

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9 (9) WAVES – Achieved first goal (no single-digit scoring quarters) last round but still a long way off.

8 (8) THUNDER – If Logan cannot cap the Caps, the rest of this season will be long indeed.

7 (6) CAPITALS – Dropped a ranking without even playing and Queensland trip is no picnic.

6 (5) FLAMES – Just when you think Sydney might be for real, it fails at home. Road looks no easier.

5 (7) LIGHTNING – Did it again against Sydney and may have it together now for Melbourne.

4 (4) BOOMERS – Should get at least a split this trip but 2-0 would be eye-catching.

3 (3) FIRE – Townsville is back in business and should take care of business against Caps.

2 (2) RANGERS – All starting to fall back into place now for this talent-laden roster.

1 (1) SPIRIT – The team of the month in November, and December looks just as much fun.

 

THIS WEEK'S TIPS

NO question New Zealand is on the way back and also no doubt Perth will drop a few more games before the regular season is done. So why not this one? The Breakers felt they were beaten by a James Ennis prayer and with their history against the Wildcats, will be fired up. This is a good bet for Breakers fans. But I’m still tipping Perth.

BOTH teams KO’d Adelaide last week and so are finding the right kind of form to make the rest of the season interesting. So the issue becomes which team do you favor more if they’re both at the top of their game? That’s a tough one because in that scenario, I like Cairns’ talent over Townsville’s. And maybe that little home-court edge becomes important this time.

REST assured, after Wollongong beat Sydney at The Sandpit last round, there were some red faces in the Kingdom of Guards but No Leaders. With Sam Young making his long-awaited debut IN Sydney, expect a good crowd, a good atmosphere and much better focused Sydney. Will it be enough? I’m guessing yes.

CONSIDERING Townsville beat the Tigers in Melbourne, the Crocs would like their chances at The Swamp. But Mustapha Farrakhan wasn’t a factor yet for Melbourne and Wortho was still in a funk. Last round’s win over NZ Breakers was at least as meritorious as the Crocs’ win over Adelaide. Plus Townsville will already have played which swings the odds to the Tigers.

REDEMPTION comes quickly for Adelaide if it can return to its fast-breaking best, but Cairns was able to take the 36ers out of what they wanted to do last week so this is anything but a foregone conclusion. Cairns playing on Friday works in the Sixers’ favor but isn’t enough in itself, Gary Ervin needing to step up against his nemesis Jamar Wilson. Expect him to do that.

A BYE should have helped Canberra over any niggles and also given it plenty of opportunity to prepare for the WNBL’s other form team, Townsville. The Fire had Suzy B back to her best last round and have so many great weapons such as Steph Cumming, Micaela Cocks, Mia Newley. At home, on fire and on a roll, Townsville should win.

WEST Coast was enjoying putting in a better showing against Dandenong but it still wasn’t close to a win and won’t be this week either, even at home in Perth against Melbourne. Again the Boomers’ array of offensive weapons ultimately will overwhelm the Waves, even if they do manage a stronger initial showing.

SYDNEY adds a new WNBA import LaSondra Barrett for its trip to Dandenong and should be feeling good considering it took out the Rangers during the Flames’ four-win streak. But losing at home (again) to Adelaide had to be a dent and don’t imagine Dandenong isn’t rubbing its hands waiting to square the ledger. I expect it will, too.

WNBL-NBL double-headers at Adelaide Arena have been a great success and will give the Lightning – regaining Laura Hodges – an edge it hasn’t previously enjoyed against Melbourne. That should be just what the doctor order – provided it was Dr Foley - for Adelaide to spring an upset and send the Boomers home with their tails tucked.

IF Sydney got Dandenong, it would be up for Bendigo. But regardless of the Rangers result, putting an end to the Spirit’s club record 11-win streak and doing it in Bendigo appears highly unlikely. Bendigo has definitely shown itself to be vulnerable in patches but rarely sufficiently for anything but the most disciplined of teams to take advantage. That rules out Sydney.

LOGAN has to beat those teams that are within its range at home and will consider Canberra to be one such opponent. Catching the Caps on the back end of a game in Townsville will help immensely but there are dreamers in the capital who still believe finals are a realistic possibility. So is winning the lotto. But dreams are motivating and Canberra will win.

 

DEAR White Folks,

Don’t you just hate boat people?

Sincerely,

Indigenous Australians